Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter-A Good Movie That Should Have Been Great

I absolutely loved the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith.  It's smart, well researched, and written in the perfect tone.  He gives us a unique theory on Abraham Lincoln's life, including his reported battles with depression.  I was thrilled to hear Seth Grahame-Smith wrote the screenplay for the movie.

But I forgot what happens to good books in the hands of Hollywood.  They took a great, rich story and first chopped out a ton of it.  We don't get to see Abraham Lincoln growing up, or see how much contempt he feels for his weak yet ambitious father.  Then they made changes, including one which completely reverses the dynamic between Henry Sturges and Abraham Lincoln, and one which deprives Lincoln of his drive to survive, even past so many personal tragedies.  I got a sense from watching the movie that they further chopped the screenplay in editing, and that the movie should have been at least thirty minutes longer.  I'm hoping for a director's cut of this movie, because I think whatever the studio executives decided was "fluff" would have turned this from a decent movie into a great one.

Leaving my agony of how the movie failed the book aside, this is a good movie.  The acting is all solid, the special effects are excellent, and while feeling rushed and choppy, the screenplay is still well done.  The costuming looks right for the time period, although the makeup to age the actors could have been done much better.  While there isn't a lot of color to the movie, with lots of it happening at night, and the daytime having a sepia overtone, it still fits.  I think they were going for "an old postcard brought to life" feel at times.  The action scenes are often spectacular, including a chase across a stampede of horses.  This is definitely not what I would call a "gory" movie, but it does have a lot of blood (all appropriate).  That plus the overall dark tone makes it decidedly not little kid friendly.

Benjamin Walker fills the stovepipe hat of Abraham Lincoln well, especially as the younger version.  He comes across as quiet, maybe shy, and very driven, but never brooding or overly-angsty.  More importantly, he didn't turn the role into a caricature.  I was often distracted by how much he looks like a young Liam Neeson, but that, for me, was definitely not a bad thing.  Later when Walker has to play Lincoln at fifty, with a beard, he doesn't look very comfortable at first, but he gets into the swing of things quickly.  I think he does the grand speeches justice, and overall was a great choice for the role. 

Dominic Cooper (who I loved as Howard Stark in Captain America: The First Avenger) plays Henry Sturges with quiet charm, and believably tough where appropriate.  He somehow takes up just as much of the screen as his much taller co-star when they're together.  He's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors.

Mary Todd's character is played by Mary Elisabeth Winstead, quite a change from her tough girl character of Lucy Gennaro McClane in Live Free Or Die Hard, and her role as the teenaged daughter of a werewolf sheriff in a town full of werewolves in the awesome, yet short-lived Wolf Lake.  Mary Todd could have been a whiny, unsympathetic character, but she's written as a human being, and Mary Elisabeth Winstead plays her without overacting.

Rufus Sewell plays the required villain, and does it with his usual flair for being the bad guy.  He has lines that could have come across as ludicrous and cheesy, which would have been a poor fit for the serious tone of the film, but he delivers them with a calm, cold, evil tone. 

Anthony Mackie as Lincoln's childhood friend Will Johnson, and Jimmie Simpson as Lincoln's later friend Joshua Speed give a good balance to the main characters.  There aren't real chances for humor in the film, which is something I normally cry out for, but they manage to lighten things up a bit.  It may be the contrast of their characters' not having the angst Lincoln is carrying around, but whatever it is, it works. 

This is a movie that is frustrating, because it should have been great.  It had everything going for it, from the author writing the screenplay, very good actors, very good CGI and cinematography.  But you can feel how it was chopped to hell by executives forcing changes to the script to save time or fit their pre-conceived idea of what an audience can handle/understand, and by post production editing.  If Tim Burton had directed instead of just produced I think this would have been the masterpiece I expected.

While I left the theater disappointed, I'm still glad to have paid the ticket price to see this on the big screen.  I desperately hope they will release a director's cut, which I will buy in a heartbeat.  For now I will go back and re-read the book, and try to stop saying "Oh, and another thing they left out/changed...!" to anyone within earshot.

Rock Of Ages: Cringe, Laugh-Rinse And Repeat

I'm definitely a child of the '80's, but my musical tastes were more in the New Wave vein, like Duran Duran and The Fixx.  I enjoyed good rock and roll, but I wasn't obsessed with it.  I consider myself a casual fan of The Scorpions, Def Leppard, Poison, Twisted Sister and the like.  But the 80's "lifestyle" and "culture" crosses those musical boundaries, so if you grew up in the 80's, you will identify with much of Rock Of Ages, often painfully so.

Being a musical it took me more than half the movie to get into the storyline, because the singing and dancing just threw me off.  But once you get into the swing of things, you can actually follow along and not be so distracted.  It starts off with the Mary Sue character of Sherrie Christian singing "Sister Christian" along with her fellow bus passengers as she leaves Oklahoma for the bright lights of Hollywood.  It's funny at the same time as cringe inducing.  All of the musical numbers are like this.

The storyline is very simple, and the characters are no deeper than a kiddie pool, but it's all so over the top and drenched in the camp that is the 80's rock and roll cliché, I can forgive.  This really is just a very long music video with some "talkie" parts thrown in for interest.  And there's nothing wrong with that!

Julianne Hough plays her sweet small town girl , Sherrie Christian, well, and has a solid voice.  More importantly she can play that 80's good girl to the hilt, clearly having fun with the role like she should.  She has the big hair, the pink and green Maybelline mascara tube in her purse at all times, draws annoying hearts on the mirror with her lipstick, and generally comes off as too good to be true.  But then she maintains this persona while ending up on stripper pole later in the movie.  That takes skill.

Her love interest Drew Boley is played with the right amount of bumbling charm and rock and roll ambitions by Diego Boneta.  Where he ends up later in the movie is absolutely hysterical, because you can actually see a part of him dying when he ends up selling out to the scummy record executive (played as only Paul Giamatti can).  Drew and Sherrie's relationship take a lot of the screentime, and could have been nauseating, but it's tempered with a lot of humor, and a lot of cringe inducing musical numbers.

Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand have less screentime, but they definitely make an impact.  Their duet later in the movie is disturbing on many levels, the best representative sample of how this movie will make you cringe at the same time as laughing out loud.  This is also when I truly needed a drink.  Seriously.  No hyberole.

Catherine Zeta-Jones has a surprisingly good voice, showing she didn't lose her singing chops from Chicago.  She is also still "lord, how I hate her" beautiful.  She plays the religious zealot with a wild eyed glee, made even better when you find out her character's secret past.  Watching her belt out "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in the middle of a church is another cringe moment, but I couldn't turn away. 

Tom Cruise.  What can I say?  He's really too old to be playing the role of hot rock star Stacee Jaxx, but he pulls it off.  He's in the best shape I think he's ever been.  There are plenty of moments he could have taken his character too far one way or the other, but he has comedic timing and delivers everything much better than I'd hoped he could.  Even his singing is better than I expected.  Naturally, like everyone else's singing I'm sure any glaring atrocities were fixed in editing and post-production, but you have to at least have some kind of solid base to pull off these songs.  The character of Stacee Jaxx is just about the perfect amalgamation of all the crazy rock stars we know and love from that era.  And Tom Cruise somehow plays crazy really well.  Frighteningly well.  In the credits I noticed "Special Transportation For Tom Cruise."  I can only imagine what that meant.

I was dreading watching Rock Of Ages, sure it was going to be a painful test of endurance.  That probably made me a heck of a lot more forgiving and open to it than I otherwise would have been.  But all in all, it was a lot of fun.  I would have preferred to be taking a shot of vodka several times throughout, you know, to enhance the experience, but a viewing while sober was definitely not a waste of time.  It was fun, the movie didn't take itself seriously at all, and it has a monkey.  I mean, you got to love a movie with a monkey, right?

This isn't a movie that needs to be seen on the big screen, in my opinion.  But it wasn't a waste of the ticket price.  It has good music, provides a lot of laughs, and makes you feel a little bit nostalgic for big hair, spandex, and even that horrifying time when boy bands were beginning to be all the rage.

Snow White And The Huntsman-Lovely On The Surface

I went to Snow White And The Huntsman with my expectations in check.  I knew this wouldn't be ground breaking storytelling or Oscar worthy performances.  I did know it would be stunning to see, and the big screen would be the only place to do a first viewing justice.

When I go to the movies without my hopes set too high (see Your Highness for an example of how badly that can play out), I enjoy myself thoroughly.  The fact that this is a decently written, well produced and mostly well acted film makes it more than just CGI eye candy and lush landscapes and costuming.

The battle scenes are grand and intense.  The initial one against an army of phantom soldiers is incredible.  Later in the film it's even believable to see Snow White in armor and riding into a full charge at the head of an army.  The action sequences go on just long enough, stopping before they get tiresome.

Snow White And The Huntsman is set in a beautiful realm.  Even when the land goes dark in response to Ravenna's takeover it still has an unearthly beauty to it.  Some of the CGI is a little cartoonish, but it's very minor and doesn't detract from the hard work and love that went into creating the scenes.  The attention to detail is great, and much appreciated by me who frequently finds CGI to be too cold nowadays.  The live landscapes are gorgeous, as well.  The costuming is beautifully done, giving the right idea of poverty and suffering where needed, and giving Ravenna the right look of vanity.

The look and feel of the movie is perfect.  Where it stumbles is in the actual story.  This should be an epic tale, but is has been squished into proper movie format so a lot is rushed, or just plain omitted, that would let you understand all of these characters better.  This story could have been done into a mini series on a cable channel and done very well.  It's intense, but not gory, with nothing you don't already see on television.  But then they probably wouldn't have been able to afford Charlize Theron, and she definitely is right to play Ravenna.

Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's performance and acting skill in general, I think she did very well for what she was given.  The wooden facial expressions and trouble emoting at critical points in the movie actually say more about the Snow White character.  Let's examine this a bit.  Snow White saw her father laying stabbed to death in his wedding bed at a tender age, and was immediately thrown into a prison tower for years afterward by the murderously ambitious witch Ravenna.  When Queen Ravenna decides it's time to eat her heart, she manages to escape, only to stumble into the Dark Forest (where psychotropic mushrooms abound).  After all this trauma, you're not going to fall back into social graces and a bubbly personality right away.  Kristen Stewart's Snow White was called upon to dramatically let tears fall from her lovely green eyes a bit too much, and her grand speech towards the end would have benefited from more passion, but overall I think there is hope for Kristen Stewart to twist out of that terrible Twilight role.  She's not gorgeous, certainly not fairer than Charlize Theron, but she has a unique look that is striking, and I thought just right for Snow White.

Chris Hemsworth as The Hunstman is very well cast.  He's not a golden haired god here, but even under the grime and rampant alcoholism, he's handsome and charming as ever.  He falters a bit with his character at the beginning, especially the accent, but then finds his pace and works with the minimal script very well.  There isn't enough interaction between him and Snow White to explain how deep their connection becomes, but a lot of "epic" movies do that.  There's enough to get the idea here, even without a chance to develop any real chemistry between The Huntsman and Snow White, or the curveball of Snow White's childhood friend Prince William (well done by Sam Clafin from Pirates Of The Caribbean 4) coming to her rescue.  This isn't a great love story by any means, but it is still very enjoyable with a couple of moments of levity.

The side characters of The Dwarves are all great, but not used to their full potential.  Ian McShane's larger than life personality is muted when forced into a CGI-ed dwarf.  Bob Hoskins fits a little more seamlessly, but it still feels weird.  They were all necessary characters and all well played, but I think they were going for name recognition more than whether the actors were the right choice.

Charlize Theron as Ravenna is very good.  This is a complex character not given enough screentime to develop past two dimensions, but Charlize Theron manages to add that third dimension anyway.  You can see the fear, the anger, and the plain old bat sh*t crazy in her eyes.  She mostly speaks in soft, soothing tones (generally right before she sucks away your youth and life), but goes into a shrill tone meant to make you jump out of your skin and flee in terror if you're the one who set her off.  She's beautiful, even when her youth is fading.  And she can deliver cold hearted evil as good as anyone I've seen.

Overall Snow White And The Huntsman is a movie you should see, and definitely see on the big screen, but don't expect to be amazed by any part of it.  Go to see a beautifully made movie with more going for it than against it, and let yourself be entertained.  

The Avengers: Pure Awesome

No surprise here, but I loved The Avengers.  It's as close to perfection in storytelling, acting, and production as I have seen.  Pretty much this review is just to add to the exponentially growing pile of glowing, rabidly enthusiastic reviews already out there.  And to encourage anyone who is still hesitating, or wondering if it is worth the hype, to go see it!

The story revolves mostly around Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and the fight against the villain, Loki.  The main actors are superbly cast, and live up to all your expectations.  Robert Downey Jr gives Tony Stark a likeablilty to his basically "what a jerk!" character.  Chris Evans manages to make Captain America seem believable as a nice guy who kicks ass in blue spandex.  And naturally Chris Hemsworth is a god.  Period.

I never had a chance to read the comic books as a kid growing up, so I was introduced to the Marvel universe through the cartoon shows of the 80's, and then the awesome movies.  I have no preconceived notions about these characters beyond the movies, and The Avengers's storyline flows perfectly with those that came before it.

While not in the forefront of the story at all times, the other main characters of Black Widow, Hawkeye, and The Hulk hold their own well against the superpower of the other characters.  I've never been a fan of The Hulk before, in anything, but in The Avengers he becomes a character I finally understand, and like.  Mark Ruffalo plays Bruce Banner with a soft spoken demeanor that doesn't come across as wimpy or weepy.  He's deeply troubled, and terrified of the damage he can cause as his alter ego, but he still keeps his sense of humor.  Jeremy Renner is casually awesome as Hawkeye, a character I'd never heard of before the movie Thor, but am loving more and more.  Scarlett Johansson makes kicking ass and playing psychological wargames with Loki seem easy, even in that skin tight catsuit. 

Not to be ignored, Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury with his usual "I'm Samuel L. F***ing Jackson" flair.  He's still no David Hasselhoff, but his version is so cool I can forgive. 

No superhero movie is complete without a super villain.  Loki is a great character, and superbly played by Tom Hiddleston.  He alternates between bat s**t crazy and charming with cool flair.  He does what a good villain should be able to do.  He makes you like him just as often as you want to just punch his face in.

One character I have to point out specifically is Agent Maria Hill, played by How I Met Your Mother's Cobie Smulders.  This is a small role, but an important one.  She stands alongside Nick Fury, and helps run the operation.  Her character is one that provides a counterpoint to the superheroes, and a little bit of needed commentary to keep the story flowing.  Cobie Smulders holds her own against Samuel L. Jackson, and doesn't fade into the background.  More importantly she doesn't overact.  She kicks ass just as well as Black Widow, and I hope to see her in any and all upcoming Avenger movies.

The Avengers has Joss Whedon's fingerprints all over it.  Only Joss Whedon could pull together a story with so many main characters and make it feel cohesive and seamless.  The running time of nearly two and a half hours simply flies by, where other movies could have felt like they were stretching it out unnecessarily.  Plus, Joss Whedon understands pacing.  With all of the action, drama, and intensity throughout, you get plenty of chances to catch your breath with well placed comedic moments.  Some are visual, some are one liners, but all are appropriate and well placed.  Thank you, Mr. Whedon, for showing yet again why Shakespeare's lessons in storytelling are so important.

I could go on and on about the awesomeness that is The Avengers, but what else beyond that is there to say?  This is a movie that takes comic book heroes and humanizes them, but still lets them kick major ass.  It's a solid story, with a great cast and worth every penny spent on special effects and CGI.  It's worth every penny to go see in the theater.  And when you do, make sure you stay all the way until the very end credits.  Don't leave in the middle!  You'll be sorry!

Pure Awesome-"Weird Al" Yankovic Album Announcement

The heavens have parted, and allowed the shining glory that is "Weird Al" brighten what could have been a mild mannered day without fits of giggles...

Oh, June 21st, why are you so far away?