Caved In: Prehistoric Terror: a.k.a. "How big bugs survive with no viable food source"

They don

For a giant bug movie, this isn't too bad. It's got a ton of CGI-ed prehistoric looking beetles, making me not-so-nostalgic for a crappy apartment I had in Denver years ago featuring Armageddon-resistant cockroaches. These creepy-crawlies move and swarm like the real things, and range from small to gargantuan. They even have little beady red eyes which are so cute on the puppet forms they use to attack the actors with.

The cast features Christopher Atkins of The Blue Lagoon fame, emerging to fight off creditors by starring in Sci Fi 'not so original' movies. He plays the father to a family-run tour guide service to the rich. Angela Featherstone (the shallow girlfriend from The Wedding Singer who made Van Halen break up by wearing their t-shirt) is the mother of the clan, who speaks French and wields pump action shotguns like a pro. Chelan Simmons and Stevie Mitchell round out the family as the spoiled daughter and slightly dim, but likable son. One thing I really found amusing in the the movie was how often the daughter got splashed with disgusting bug goo as the mother blew them to pieces. She didn't look amused after the third hit, but funny thing, I was laughing my copious butt off.

The story starts off with a mining incident in 1948 where only one man survives a prehistoric bug attack. He also manages to emerge from the mine with a map to the location of a huge cache of emeralds. This cache is what the bad guys are after. David Palfey plays your typical greedy bad guy, who is supposedly the grandson of this survivor, and gets the map. We're not clear of his relation to an old guy with a leg missing that he is shown negotiating with over property at the beginning of the film, but facts aren't what make a bad movie good, so I can overlook this confusion. The tour guide father gets enlisted to show the way around the mine, much to the irritation of the rest of his family who expected a 'real' vacation. The money is good, so they go, and his family has the use of a dead man's lake house while he earns the fee.

Christian Popa plays a brutal lackey left in charge of the family while the dad guides his crew around an abandoned mine. The daughter and the lackey start flirting with each other, and you wonder why the mother isn't being a bit more forceful in keeping them apart. You'd also think the parents would be more concerned that their younger son is off wandering a strange countryside, and doesn't check back in for a few hours. Fortunately there aren't child protective services available to ask these sorts of questions, so the storyline progresses.

Of course it's revealed to the naive father that he's leading a gang of thugs on a treasure hunt rather than a group of thrill seekers wanting to explore a mine. His family is held hostage based on his continued cooperation. The bugs begin attacking, so the story quickly picks up a more energetic pace.

The bad guys have brought along laser rifles, which is handy to have for blasting through rock, and big bugs. The rest of the storyline is pretty far-fetched, too, but it's still fun. The characters don't seem quite right, and there are coincidences that even I rolled my eyes. When the mother and daughter are surrounded by beetles, they happen to get the father on the radio in time for a shrill cry of help from the queen beetle to ring out. The attacking beetles hear this on the radio, and rush off to help their queen, saving the mother and daughter. Okaay... Plus you wonder how the bugs have survived so long underground with no source of food? Cannibalism can only get you so far. But you also get groaners of one liners like 'He said he had a splitting headache...' when someone gets their face bit in two by a beetle, so things balance out in the end.

There's a lot of entrails and goo, so I wouldn't recommend this for dinner and a movie. I would recommend it for a good way to waste a couple of hours of your day so you don't accidentally do anything productive!