I Am Omega: a.k.a. "This Is A Waste Of Time And Space"

Get him! He might star in a sequel!

This. Was. Terrible. Point, shoot, bang, it needs to be dead. Please, please, please to the powers that be out there, do not make a sequel like you set up for. It's not worth it. This first film wasn't worth it. I understand you were just trying to trick people into watching your movie first by rushing it to completion and releasing it before the big blockbuster, I Am Legend. Let's leave it at that, shall we? You've inflicted enough pain on my tender psyche.

Why did I even bother to watch I Am Omega? I knew it was going to be a zombie flick, and I've never enjoyed zombie flicks. But I thought, maybe with the obvious plot lifting of The Omega Man and The Last Man On Earth and I Am Legend that they could cobble something together that would keep me interested. Instead, it just proves that I still haven't acquired a taste for zombies, and that no one bothered to try to tell a story here.

It starts off with a lot of promise, with Mark Dacascos playing Renchard, presumably the last living soul. Through some unobtrusive flashbacks we learn he lost his wife and child to the virus and resulting zombie overflow. He eats his meals with a mannequin for company, pays cash to corpses when he takes their beer, and has a very intricate security system to fend off attacks. He's also going a wee bit nuts, and plays it well. Sadly, this isn't enough to hold up the story, and I found myself checking how much time was left less than thirty minutes into it.

Somehow his computer still works and connects well enough to the internet to receive incoming video. We see that there is at least one survivor in the middle of New York City, and she wants him to come get her. He wisely decides he's better off holed up where he's at, especially since he's wired the city to blow up, and ignores her.

Enter two psychotic soldiers in a dirty white van. They ask him to help them rescue the girl, because her blood has the anti-virus to save humanity. When he still says no, they insist by blowing up his house. So off they go to rescue the damsel. They don't get far before their stupidity kills one of them off, and the survivor of the pair won't leave the body to continue the mission. Renchard has to go in alone to get the girl.

It gets more ludicrous and confusing from there. The writers just throw in more zombies, cars that won't start, a girl with an oddly superior attitude for someone getting rescued from zombies, and the surviving solider going more than a little over the cuckoo's nest, all in the name of stretching this painful test of endurance out to the requisite time requirement.

At another point I swear Renchard is going zombie, because they show him getting scratched, and then he gets shot. Almost immediately they put on a thick layer of pale makeup on him, and do weird camera angles. As he fights off the now bad-guy soldier they continue to flash on him as if he were using zombie strength. Then after all that, nothing. This may sound like a spoiler, but seriously, I'm saving you a good ninety minutes of pain by letting you know upfront that Renchard won't go 'native' at the end. Perhaps knowing that you won't feel the compulsion to waste time on this.

This movie has the same intellectually degenerating impact as chugging one of those huge 40 ounce bottles of Olde English from back in your college days. You'll end up feeling about as queasy and guilty the morning after, too.