Shark Attack 3: Megalodon: A train wreck of a movie I can't resist
Monday, April 6, 2009 at 9:06PM 
The acting is even scarier than the shark!
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon is probably one of the worst movies ever made. I can say this because I've also seen Shark Attack 2 which was giggle-snort bad, as well. I haven't seen Shark Attack, but I'm going to make a guess that it's awful, as well, but probably without the flair of the third installment.
I must confess to a disturbing infatuation with Shark Attack 3. It's bad in so many ways, but is so unabashedly, over the top bad that I can't help but love it.
The acting is, other than the charming John Barrowman (of Torchwood), god awful, especially with the wooden acting of Jenny McShane. There's one line in this film that will make you think 'huh?' when you hear it in the edited version, because the original line was a raunchy ad lib by Barrowman intended to get Jenny McShane to laugh. She gave absolutely no reaction, most likely because it wasn't in the script so she didn't know what to do, so they overdubbed a ridiculous line to make it seem natural, I guess. Either way, it adds to the ludicrous sense of humor this film seems to have, and highlights why Jenny McShane has a very sparse career.
There are a lot of secondary characters that are all played with an odd joie de vive that a lot of bad movies should enjoy, but too often don't. They all embrace the fun that is a bad, horribly cheesy movie. There's no sense of shame here, and you can almost imagine at the wrap party that everyone would argue "No, mine was the worst performance! I didn't even put inflections in my lines at least half the time!". One of the characters I swear had a voice actor overdub his lines, because the voice just didn't fit the actor. However, that just adds to the giggle factor for me every time I watch it.
The plot is simple, just the way I like 'em. A big company is installing huge cables underground for communications, hoping to make tons of money. They cut corners so electrical signals bleed out, attracting sharks. Since this goes along a really deep oceanic trench, the theory is that a Megalodon swims up from the deep to check it out.
Ben Carpenter (Barrowman) runs security at a Mexican resort, and plays fast and loose with the rules. As a result he goes diving where he's not supposed to, and discovers a large shark tooth in one of these cables. This results in Cataline Stone (McShane) showing up on the hunt for a baby Megalodon. Of course she doesn't let anyone know this until someone gets killed, but that gives an opportunity for forced conflict between our two main characters.
The hunt ensues for the baby, but then big momma Megalodon shows up in time to swallow boats whole, and generally start me laughing so hard I miss stuff. The CGI on this is so bad that I have to wonder if it really took a lot of skill to make it look so corny and fake.
We naturally get a small group of characters who take matters into their own hands. One of them is ex-military, so he happens to have a torpedo lying around. (No, seriously, he does.) None of this really matters, because the last fifteen minutes of the movie is what keeps me watching every time I get a chance. Big momma Megalodon attacks a large yacht, swallows people as they jump ship, swallows life rafts, and even jet skies. This is all shown with such god awful special effects you can't turn away. Plus, did you know that Megalodons growl and roar? Well, they do in this movie!
My husband has mentioned he plans to seek out a boxed set of the Shark Attack movies for me. I don't doubt him, because he did purchase for me the boxed set of all the Carnosaur movies. Still, out of all of the Shark Attack movies, number 3 is the best of the worst, and one I will always recommend for a good belly laugh.
And now for a hint (thank you, YouTube!) at why I can't stay away from this movie. Check out these high quality special effects, and try not to laugh until your sides hurt!
Reader Comments (2)
[...] doesn’t help that Jenny McShane (the wooden actress from Shark Attack 3) plays the prison psychologist, and does it with the same quality of acting that lands her roles [...]
[...] a better, more entertaining, shark movie, go for Deep Blue Sea, or even better, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. Watch Sharks In Venice once, get over your disappointment, and move [...]