"O" is for Oscar

F

Oscar is the latest entry in The Cheese Alphabet, and Sylvester Stallone's second appearance in the list. This time he plays a gangster named Snaps Provolone trying to go straight per the death bed wishes of his father (played magnificently by Kirk Douglas). The farce which ensues is fast-paced, ludicrous, and a cheesy good time!

There are tons of secondary characters without which this wouldn't stand a chance. I love Mr. Stallone in this role, and gotta give him props for comedic timing, but he definitely couldn't hold the movie up by himself. His willful daughter is played by Marisa Tomei, and she plays it to the hilt. She throws temper tantrums. She launches into long speeches about how she wants to climb Mount Everest, write symphonies, run with the bulls, and other such grandiose ideas, but really she just wants to move out of her father's house. So she takes up with the chauffeur named Oscar, and claims to be pregnant with his child. That sets one set of whirlygig lunacy in motion as her parents scramble to fix her up with a suitable husband, and she fights it every step of the way.

We have Tim Curry who plays the linguistic coach to Snaps Provolone. He's an older man, still lives with his mother, whose head is easily turned by the lovely gangster's daughter with 'nicely rounded diphthongs.' He ends up entangled in the marriage miasma with sweet, funny results.

Anthony Rossano (played by Vincent Spano) sets another farce in motion as Snaps' accountant. While Snaps is planning to donate a large sum of cash to to a bunch of bankers in exchange for being named to their board of trustees (and thereby becoming 'legit'), Anthony embezzles $250,000, tells Snaps he loves his daughter, and that he knows his daughter loves him because they'd already slept together. Being a good father, Snaps wants to kill the smug young man, but refrains, because that wouldn't be the actions of a man whose gone straight. Instead, he decides that Anthony will indeed marry his daughter.

Problem is, Anthony meant Snaps' other daughter, Theresa, from a previous relationship. Snaps never knew about her, and now is torn with fatherly devotion, and fury at being duped by an accountant. Plus, his wife (played by Ornella Muti from Flash Gordon) isn't very happy about the whole thing.

The lunacy whirls all around, with fast paced dialogue and that whole 'old time movie' feel. Everything is harmless fun, and a lot of it. The entire cast is great, including Snaps' thugs, which includes Chazz Palminteri who just can't seem to remember he's not supposed to pull a gun on people anymore. We also get a great performance out of That 70's Show's Red Forman, Kurtwood Smith, who is Lt. Toomey of the Chicago PD desperately trying to nail Snaps Provolone and prove he's not really going to be a legitimate businessman. There's a scene with your typical mixed up black satchels that has the classic old movie feel, and adds a great touch to an already riotous movie.

There's no way you can take anything about this movie seriously, which is why I love it so much. After vampires, gun fights, ghosts, beasties, the occasional zombie or nasty virus, a movie like this with nothing supernatural about it is just what I need. The fact it's a well-done parody/nod to those old time gangster movies that leaves my sides hurting from laughing is just icing on the cake.

If you've never given this movie a chance, I highly recommend you do so. There's no shame in enjoying a Sylvester Stallone movie, especially when he's having so much fun at his own expense!