Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. - as only David Hasselhoff can do it!

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Thanks to the Sci Fi Channel airing this movie once many years ago, I was able to catch one of the absolute cheesiest displays of cinematic wonder ever made. It's Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. with the one, the only David "Don't Hassle The Hoff" Hasselhoff as the eye patch-wearing, cigar clenching, black leather clad hero himself.

This is a made-for-tv movie based on the comic book character introduced back in 1963. I never read any of the comics, so I have no clue how closely they followed the canon. I just know that there are some great backgrounds, gadgets, and special effects for a made-for-tv movie. It gives a lot of big budget feature films a run for their money.

The cast of characters are played by actors culled from various soap operas, including some Baywatch alumns. We have Lisa Rinna as Contessa Valentina 'Val' de Allegro Fontaine, who is basically the love interest. I'm sure she was chosen because she had experience with cheesy lines from her soap opera work, and could pull off the tight leather outfit with high heels and not fall down when she needed to run in it. This was before Lisa Rinna got a little too interested in lip plumping treatments, so she's pretty, instead of a little freaky. For being so short in comparison to Mr. Hasselhoff, she holds her own quite well against him.

We have Neil Roberts as Alexander Goodwin Pierce, a British gent trying not to screw up in this rough and tumble world. He's charming, even as his character fumbles through some situations, and doesn't come off as a wuss. We also have Tracy Waterhouse who plays a psychic named Kate Neville. She looks very much like the morally bankrupt doctor from Robocop 2, but it's not her. She's a great character to have, both for the convenient psychic thing, and to have a sensibly dressed tough chick. Both of these side characters do their part to balance the full on cheese of this movie and it's characters.

The bad guy at the heart this flick is a fanatical group named HYDRA, but the main representative we see the most of is Andrea Von Strucker, code name Viper, played salaciously over the top by Sandra Hess. The character is German, so we get the full on, probably getting a little spit in your eye if she's facing you when she talks, accent. She struts around in low cut dresses, fashionable head coverings, and lipstick laced with poison. Sandra Hess obviously had a ton of fun with this role, and just went for broke being all 'villainy'. She even does that awesome 'mwah ha ha' style laugh, so you know for sure her character is evil. I love her in this movie!

Then we have Nick Fury, as only David Hasselhoff can play him. Being tall and still in great shape certainly didn't hurt his ability to do this role. The fact he obviously had fun with it comes through loud and clear in every scene. He delivers his lines through grit teeth whenever possible, glares at any authority figure in his path with as steely a gaze as he can muster, and clenches that cigar butt through 95% of the movie without actually taking a puff. He may have actually smoked a cigar at some point in the movie, but even for all the times I've watched it, I've been too busy laughing to notice every detail. It's Mr. Hasselhoff's sense of fun that is absolutely infectious, and makes this movie one the favorites in my collection.

If you're a fan of cheese, you must get yourself a copy while you still can. It was finally released to DVD exclusively through Best Buy back in 2008. I snapped up my copy already, and I encourage you to do the same. There's something about owning such a cheesy masterpiece. It's a sensation that can't be duplicated by watching it whenever you're lucky enough to catch it on Encore Action. So go, my five readers. Run to Best Buy and place your order. You will not regret it!

And now for just a hint of what you'll get when you make the investment in your own copy of Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D....