G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra: Cheesy, cheesy, cheesy fun!
Monday, August 10, 2009 at 4:00AM 
Lots of action, lots of cheese, lots of fun!
If you go to see G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra expecting a plot, you're completely missing the point of a summer blockbuster like this. You're supposed to be going for a good time, to see lots of action, cool C.G.I., and some cheesy, cheesy goodness! There's sort of a plot here, but it's threadbare, just enough to hang the goodies on. For The Queen Of Cheese, that was plenty for a rip roaring good time, one making me anxious for those two sequels Dennis Quaid is already lined up for.
The cast is huge, so that is a bit distracting at first, but once things get moving you're able to stay focused on the main group. There are also a couple of cameos in pivotal roles, such as Jonathan Pryce as The President Of The United States, and Brendan Fraser as Sergeant Stone, responsible for whipping the two newest Joes into shape. Otherwise we have several character on the good and bad side to keep up with, and every single one of them was cast very well.
On the good guy side we naturally have Dennis Quaid as General Hawk, the man in charge of the Joes. He's likable and charming, as only Dennis Quaid can be. Already on his team is Breaker, played by Saïd Taghmaoui, Heavy Duty, played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, the awesome Snake Eyes, played by Ray Park, and the surprisingly not-irritating Scarlett, played by Rachel Nichols. Freshly recruited are Duke, played by Channing Tatum (who I still giggle over being in Step Up), and Ripcord, played by Marlon Wayans. This whole bunch have good chemistry together, making them a lot of fun to watch. All of the players keep their roles subdued, since an over the top performance would have just been lost in all of the over the top action and C.G.I. I was happy that the story skipped over a whole bunch of "you're the new guy and don't deserve to be here" crap they could have done. They hinted at it briefly, but quickly glossed it over to make them a team.
On the bad guy side we have a bunch of actors who get to have a lot of fun being bad. Christopher Eccleston (Dr. Who) plays James McCullen (and future Destro). Lee Byung-hun plays Snake Eyes' rival, Storm Shadow, with lots of spectacular fighting as a result. Sweet little Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the evil Cobra Commander, and does it so well I didn't recognize him. There's a small part played by the wondrous Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, a master of disguise. They weave his part in well, and leave it hanging wonderfully for the sequels. And because it wouldn't be G.I. Joe without The Baroness, we have Sienna Miller playing it to the hilt. There's an awesome fight scene between The Baroness and Scarlett which goes above and beyond the typical "we have to have a girl fight" scene.
Okay, there's a plot in here somewhere, but I didn't really care, since I was so distracted by the wonderful explosions and tons of great action. It centers around nanotechnology and missiles built to exploit them. Naturally they're dangerous weapons and end up falling into the wrong hands, and then the good guys have to chase them. There's an underwater military base, some sweet gadgets and vehicles, and lots of firepower. What more do you need, really?
Despite a lot of folks giving G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra negative reviews, it still opened number one at the box office this weekend, and I think has secured the production of those two sequels. The action is intense, but I think even younger viewers won't be overwhelmed by it, and will just be delighted at all of the eye candy in front of them.
I will be snapping this up on DVD the week it's released, I enjoyed it that much, and will be in line opening weekend when the sequels do come out. I highly recommend giving this a viewing while it is on the big screen, and checking any high expectations for complex plots at the door. Go in expecting what I did, which is a cheesy good time with lots of giggle factor, and you will be very, very entertained!
Reader Comments (1)
[...] pandered to. I got what I wanted last weekend when I thoroughly enjoyed the hunk of cheddar that is G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra. However, I do not enjoy shelling out hard earned cash for the privilege of having the message [...]