The story revolves mostly around Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and the fight against the villain, Loki.  The main actors are superbly cast, and live up to all your expectations.  Robert Downey Jr gives Tony Stark a likeablilty to his basically "what a jerk!" character.  Chris Evans manages to make Captain America seem believable as a nice guy who kicks ass in blue spandex.  And naturally Chris Hemsworth is a god.  Period.

I never had a chance to read the comic books as a kid growing up, so I was introduced to the Marvel universe through the cartoon shows of the 80's, and then the awesome movies.  I have no preconceived notions about these characters beyond the movies, and The Avengers's storyline flows perfectly with those that came before it.

While not in the forefront of the story at all times, the other main characters of Black Widow, Hawkeye, and The Hulk hold their own well against the superpower of the other characters.  I've never been a fan of The Hulk before, in anything, but in The Avengers he becomes a character I finally understand, and like.  Mark Ruffalo plays Bruce Banner with a soft spoken demeanor that doesn't come across as wimpy or weepy.  He's deeply troubled, and terrified of the damage he can cause as his alter ego, but he still keeps his sense of humor.  Jeremy Renner is casually awesome as Hawkeye, a character I'd never heard of before the movie Thor, but am loving more and more.  Scarlett Johansson makes kicking ass and playing psychological wargames with Loki seem easy, even in that skin tight catsuit. 

Not to be ignored, Samuel L. Jackson plays Nick Fury with his usual "I'm Samuel L. F***ing Jackson" flair.  He's still no David Hasselhoff, but his version is so cool I can forgive. 

No superhero movie is complete without a super villain.  Loki is a great character, and superbly played by Tom Hiddleston.  He alternates between bat s**t crazy and charming with cool flair.  He does what a good villain should be able to do.  He makes you like him just as often as you want to just punch his face in.

One character I have to point out specifically is Agent Maria Hill, played by How I Met Your Mother's Cobie Smulders.  This is a small role, but an important one.  She stands alongside Nick Fury, and helps run the operation.  Her character is one that provides a counterpoint to the superheroes, and a little bit of needed commentary to keep the story flowing.  Cobie Smulders holds her own against Samuel L. Jackson, and doesn't fade into the background.  More importantly she doesn't overact.  She kicks ass just as well as Black Widow, and I hope to see her in any and all upcoming Avenger movies.

The Avengers has Joss Whedon's fingerprints all over it.  Only Joss Whedon could pull together a story with so many main characters and make it feel cohesive and seamless.  The running time of nearly two and a half hours simply flies by, where other movies could have felt like they were stretching it out unnecessarily.  Plus, Joss Whedon understands pacing.  With all of the action, drama, and intensity throughout, you get plenty of chances to catch your breath with well placed comedic moments.  Some are visual, some are one liners, but all are appropriate and well placed.  Thank you, Mr. Whedon, for showing yet again why Shakespeare's lessons in storytelling are so important.

I could go on and on about the awesomeness that is The Avengers, but what else beyond that is there to say?  This is a movie that takes comic book heroes and humanizes them, but still lets them kick major ass.  It's a solid story, with a great cast and worth every penny spent on special effects and CGI.  It's worth every penny to go see in the theater.  And when you do, make sure you stay all the way until the very end credits.  Don't leave in the middle!  You'll be sorry!

Oh, June 21st, why are you so far away?

Warning: Movie not as awesome as DVD cover appears

Megashark Vs Crocosaurus is one of the lamest movies I've watched in a long while.  And for The Queen Of Cheese, that's saying something. 

Asylum Productions recycles the surprisingly enjoyable Megashark Vs Giant Octopus storyline, but brings in a giant, prehistoric crocodile instead.  I'm all for recycling ideas and churning out B-movies, even C and D movies.  But this ended up being an endurance test to sit through the entire thing.  That's why I finally cracked open my 1999 bottle of Castillo Del Corzo red wine and had a tall glass while I vowed I would make it to the end of this "movie".

What makes this bad, and not in a good way?  Absolutely no love given to the script.  It's a mish mash of plot holes, random associations, and completely wooden characters that give you nothing to grab onto.  The weak attempts at humor just make it more pathetic.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm glad they at least tried to put some funny in there, but with a story that discombobulated it just falls flat.

Add to that an ensemble of actors who seem like they could have done so much better than this "movie'.  We have Sarah Lieving as the hard nosed military type person first sent to recruit Jaleel White as the lone survivor of the Megashark's attack on a Navy ship, and then Gary Stretch as the less than savory guy who takes advantage of natives to make a buck, and somehow has enough manpower and connections to capture and transport a gigantic Crocosaurus across the ocean.  We even get a surprising amount of screen time for poor bastard Robert Picardo, who I loved way back when he was on China Beach, and am vaguely aware of from Stargate SG1 and Stargate Atlantis. Jaleel White survived child star fame, only to be in something this bad?  Gary Stretch has an impressive resume, but this role definitely leaves a black hole in it.  Sarah Lieving has a lot of roles under her belt, too.  I've seen her in a few, including Beast Of Bray Road, and I know she has more talent than this role showcases.

There's a lot of chemistry amongst the cast, despite the distracted, lackluster script.  I suspect a lot of the issues with Megashark Vs Crocosaurus are due to brutal editing to fit a certain time constraint.  With the way the scenes jump around with very little connectivity, the way characters are thrust together with casual mentions that they know each other and have prior conflict, and giant plot craters, the actors can only deliver their lines and hang on until the bitter end.  There could have been genuine camaraderie among the characters, but any scene that could have made you care is probably on the cutting room floor.

This is soooo much better than the sequel!Let's talk about the special effects.  Maybe it was the tall glass of wine, but the graphics weren't that bad, all things considered.  But then again, all things considered, the CGI didn't have high standards to live up to.  There's plenty of recycled CGI of the Megashark, and some good looking CGI of the Crocosaurus.  There's more footage of the creatures than there were in MegaShark Vs Giant Octopus, but Asylum saved some bucks by showing lots of shadows in the water instead of actual creatures.  At least a little love was there in the details, even though the details were still as sparse as ever for an Asylum Production.

Megashark Vs Crocosaurus had no plot, managed to waste a lot of actor's talents, and an hour and a half of my time.  This one is so bad I won't even buy the DVD if I see it on sale for $5-like I did with a squeal of delight when I spotted Megashark Vs Giant Octopus for that price a few months ago.  The poor clerk in Fred Meyer's may never be the same.

Run! Bad career moves are right behind you!After suffering through Your Highness and it's total lack of funny, when I sat down to watch Ferocious Planet the next day my expectations for anything to ever be good again were way, way down there.  That's probably why I found enjoyment in this hollow ripoff of Savage Planet (which didn't have much to inspire with itself), or any other B-movie offerings that came before it.

This wasn't horrible.  The graphics on the monsters were pretty good.  Not as good as the DVD cover would have you believe, but that's typical.  I can forgive less than stellar CGI when there are other elements that keep my interest.

There are a lot of characters to keep track of, at least in the beginning.  Naturally they start getting picked off one by one, so we get down to a core group for the majority of the movie pretty fast.  John Rhys Davies barely makes it to the first commercial break, but that's just as well.  He's better than a movie like this and it makes me wonder if he takes these roles because he thinks they'll be fun, or if he's just that tired.

What really won me over was the well placed humor through the whole movie.  Finally a newer movie that gets it!  Fine, give me melodrama, give me action, even some blood and gore.  But make sure you break it up with some humor.

It's not even over the top humor.  It's surprisingly subtle things all throughout.  One liners here and there, looks exchanged between the characters, and just simple dialogue between them, as well.  It makes you feel a little more at home in this parallel dimension they got themselves thrown into, and  makes the threadbare script just a minor annoyance.

Most notable of the cast besides John Rhys Davies is poor bastard Joe Flannigan, of Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis fame.  He's also so much better than a role like this, but he plays it with charm, so you can't help but root for him to survive  until the end (and what will surely be an even more pallid sequel).  He's the main reason this movie had some warmth, depth, and humor.  I look forward to seeing him in what will surely relaunch his career, Spore.  Sadly for Mr. Flannigan, it looks like a movie right up my alley, so I'm not  holding my breath for a sudden jolt in his fame after it airs.

Overall, Ferocious Planet had a lot more going for it than many movies of its ilk.  It had a decent cast, halfway decent writing, well placed humor, and pretty cool looking beasties.  It was certainly a better way to spend an afternoon than the last movie I paid good money to see.

Click to enlarge

On top of it, you can typically be forewarned of a lame comedy by the running time.  Usually a throwaway movie is barely making it to ninety minutes (including credits).  Your Highness has a running time of 1:42.  Promising!

Reality can crush the soul.   The clever editing for the previews was not there in the movie.  I suspect much of it ended up on the cutting room floor, yet still would have done little to save this bland tale of adventure laced with penis jokes, weak attempts at humor about molestation, and desperate uses of the F-bomb to make us laugh.  Because anytime you hear "fuck" in a genteel British accent, it's funny, right?

Danny McBride (Pineapple Express ) is credited as one of the main writers.  If this is his idea of funny, he needs to go back and sit down at the feet of masters.  He needs to watch Monty Python's Quest For The Holy Grail, Mel Brook's History Of The World Part I and Robin Hood: Men In Tights, read Shakespeare, and listen to anything George Carlin.  You can tell he was going for anachronistic humor, and the shock value of vulgar humor in a normally polite backdrop.  He forgot that humor still needs a framework to be hung from.  In a movie format it needs a good storyline and characters we can connect with.  Otherwise we just have people saying "fuck" without any context to make it actually funny.

Just like drama needs to break up the pace with some humor to give the audience a chance to breathe, comedy needs to respect it's counterpart.  Every time we got close to understanding these characters better, connecting with them on a personal level by learning about their understandably tragic pasts, the script suddenly shies away and  goes for a crude remark. There were scenes with Natalie Portman's character, Isabel, where she explains how she became a vengeful (and kickass) knight, but the chance to get to know her is yanked away by the writer's obvious terror of any serious moment somehow making this less of a comedy.

The acting is superb, which makes this all the more painful of a disappointment.  James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Daschenal, even Danny McBride, all give wonderful performances with the steaming pile of boring they were given. The special effects are very cool, and part of what made me want to see this on the big screen.  The lush landscapes are gorgeous, giving it that epic feel.  Everything is in place to make this an instant classic.  It's the writing that kills this.

There are too many story lines going on at once, but that I can forgive.  Many movies do that, but still at least let you get to know the characters so you feel sympathetic to their plight.  Even the promising, but less than it could have been Krod Mandoon And The Flaming Sword Of Fire series understood this.  The lead character was likable, and even though the humor was often vulgar, it was well placed, and not the crux of the whole venture.  Your Highness' Thadeous, played by Danny McBride, is very difficult to like at the outset.  I suspect mostly due to editing towards the end, you don't see this character develop into anyone you wouldn't enjoy seeing hung by dwarves, which makes the ending even harder to swallow.

Overall, this was more soul-crushingly disappointing than anything else.  The movie didn't suck.  It didn't blow.  It just sort of laid there and thought of England.

Creepy, crawly, radioactive fun!

With Halloween approaching, it is my duty to remind you to keep the fun apace with the frightful for those movie marathons countless of us will indulge in. I can appreciate a good scare, but I need a good laugh along with it, because after all, I am The Queen Of Cheese. I need giggles. I need cheese. I need plots lifted from old black and white sci-fi thrillers that were funny mostly because they were so cornball bad. I need Eight Legged Freaks, and so do you.

We have the small, isolated town of Prosperity where the most popular jock tries to get in the pants of the lady sheriff's hot daughter, young kids ride their bikes everywhere without much concern from their parents, local kooks collect spiders, and trucks drive through with radioactive waste. There's also a mayor trying to revitalize the town after the mining has died by building an eyesore of a mall with the theory that people will just gravitate towards it like a moth to a flame. Reenter the long lost son of one of the mine workers who left over a girl (naturally), who is now the hot lady sheriff. We get painful attempts at him romancing her, lots of scenes with the young son trying to warn the town that spiders are coming to get them, all punctuated by the mildly delusional narrations of the town's only apparent radio broadcaster.

The plot isn't important, and the writers knew it. Instead they focus on the colorful characters populating the town (and soon the cocoons of one ton spiders). They also pay a lighthearted tribute to small town life against the backdrop of wonderfully CGI-ed spiders leaping through the air, skittering after their prey, lunging from trapdoors in the sand, or just lumbering through main street because they're the big bad tarantula that can. The fact the spiders occasionally roar like a lion, mutter obscenities, and giggle fiendishly is all just icing on the cake.

Even if you're afraid of spiders, you need to give this movie a chance. David Arquette (Scream) fits perfectly in his "lovable loser trying to win the girl of his dreams that he lost by punching out her jerk of a boyfriend back in high school and that's why he left without a word and now has a lot of explaining to do" character. His aunt Gladys is divinely played by Eileen Ryan, right down to the cigarette habit that helps save the day. Kari Wuhrer is recovering from Sliders by playing a tough, beautiful, believably intelligent lady raising her two precocious kids single handed, while juggling her career as sheriff. Her eldest daughter is a barely recognizable Scarlett Johansson (before the bleach blond hair and what I think is some cosmetic work) who does a good job being a snotty teenager who still loves her mom, no matter how much she resents still living in this little town. Scott Terra is the little brother obsessed with sci fi movies, and who naturally no one believes because he's a kid who's obsessed with sci fi movies. Rounding out the main characters is Harlan, our conspiracy theory radio broadcaster, played by Doug E. Doug.

Whoever did the casting on this film did it with care and made sure the chemistry fit. This wasn't designed to be a blockbuster, by any means (especially since it was up against Spiderman of all things), so they didn't try to get a "name" to sell it. As a result the large cast all meshed together to form a believable community of small town folk just trying to jab a pitchfork in the belly of that spider trying to get in through the mall door.

The graphics on the spiders are a huge selling point for me, as well as the acting and the writing. Someone did a lot of research to get the variety of spiders right, and tended to the project with the love it deserves. Little things like spraying perfume at a giant spider demands that you see the mandibles frantically waving the offending scent away, or else why bother?

Eight Legged Freaks is one of my 'go to' movies when I need a good laugh. The fact this movie embraces the cheese and giggle factor make me love it all the more. I have pushed this on to friends and coworkers to initiate them into the world of cheese with good results. I now insist those of you who have not experienced this wonderfully cheesy movie treat yourselves now that the Halloween sales are on! For those who already know and love this movie, do as I will, and pull out your copy for a Halloween (or any time) viewing, and giggle away!

]]>http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/rss-comments-entry-7515537.xml"Not So Original" MoviesAsylum Home EntertainmentBrittany MurphyBruce DavisonEric La SalleMegaFaultPaul LoganWe Have To Save The World...AgainYou Poor BastardYou Poor Bastardaction flickThe Queen HerselfMon, 12 Oct 2009 13:00:52 +0000http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/2009/10/12/megafault-lots-of-blame-to-pass-around-but-i-wouldnt-say-meg.html576450:6665440:7515535 What

Okay, after being absent in my oh-so-valuable reviews of all that is cheesy in the world of B-movies, I'm finally back to a level of free time which allows me to indulge in this irresistible fixation of mine. The first movie I chose to review sadly has no deep meaning for me, no grandiose karmic communication I felt had to be imparted to an unsuspecting world. Nope. It just happens to be what was in my DVR for me this weekend.

So here goes a review of MegaFault, another venture from Asylum Home Entertaiment which has a lot of potential which was allowed to all shake to the bottom while the CGI team tried to make the graphics more believable. There was a lot to work with this time in the way of the cast, including Eriq La Salle, of ER fame (as well as one of my favorite 80's movies, Coming To America), Bruce Davison (X-men and a schnike-load of other work), Brittany Murphy (whose "girly" movies I've never liked, but could appreciate her fortitude in working opposite of Ashton Kutcher), and Paul Logan (who others may say isn't a plus, but whom I loved in Komodo Vs Cobra). To the credit of the cast they all played their parts very well. Maybe too well for a movie of this limited caliber. There wasn't any sense of fun at any point from any of the cast, except an occasional smart-ass line delivered by the background actors. I know this is a disaster movie, but it's a very far-fetched disaster movie, and one put out by Asylum Home Entertainment. C'mon folks, I know it's not as fun of a premise as Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus, but roll with the punches and revel in the cheese factor!

I think the seriousness that "end of the world" movies incite is what turns me off of them. There seems to be a fear of making fun of anything, no matter how ludicrous the storyline gets. We have a man who specializes in blowing up mountains, named Boomer, and when he takes out a mountain, it causes a giant crack across North America, pretty much dividing the United States in two as it tears through the earth. The military enlist cute little Dr. Amy Lane who has no problem leaving her daughter and husband behind to go investigate the earthquakes, and then get called upon to calculate where the military should fire this secret weapon they have in space that can (wait for it....) start earthquakes! Back to the old "cure amnesia" theory of halting a crisis, whereby you simply have to start another earthquake in the right spot and the world will remember it's real name is Alice, and she has a dog named... I mean, you'll stop the first earthquake.

Not to be outdone, the cure then weakens the mantle. Naturally we then get a mega volcano that has to be stopped by blowing up a whole bunch of stuff, 'cause, well, they were running out of reasons why Boomer needed to keep hanging around.

There's not much of substance along the way, but you do end up liking Amy Lane and Boomer, because they're played by actors who know how to create empathy. Again, it's just misplaced for a little movie like this. They're acting like they're going for an Oscar instead of just trying to keep their careers in forward momentum.

The special effects here are typical Asylum. Not horrible, not great, but still just bad enough to elicit a giggle. I think that's why I keep watching Asylum's movies, because at least half of them I can get through as a result of that cheese factor. The other half (such as The Terminators) are so bad I can't get past the first thirty minutes, despite my stubborn, masochistic nature.

If you're a fan of disaster flicks, you will probably enjoy Megafault. If you're a fan of cheesy movies, you'll be left wanting (and feeling a little sorry for Brittany Murphy and Eric La Salle).

]]>http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/rss-comments-entry-7515535.xml"Not So Original" MoviesBrendan McCarthyBrittany ByrnesCheesy GoodnessChristopher LloydCurtis DankoDiversionsFox FamilyHalloweenR.L. StineRoy BillingTom AmandesWalker Fallsmade for tv movieThe Queen HerselfTue, 18 Aug 2009 11:00:26 +0000http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/2009/8/18/when-good-ghouls-go-bad-when-you-just-need-something-punny.html576450:6665440:7515534 With a title like that, you know it

Once in a while I just feel like a very tame movie with lots of cheesiness, even at the risk of some awfully saccharin moments. When the movie features Christopher Lloyd, to boot, I can't resist, and willingly plop myself on the futon to waste a couple of hours on a family-style scary film.

When Good Ghouls Go Bad is based on the R.L. Stine book of the same name, which, like all of his other works, I never got around to reading when I was in the proper age demographic. It's set in Walker Falls, Minnesota, a town which hasn't celebrated Halloween for twenty years after the tragic death of Curtis Danko, the local outcast. The story goes that Curtis created a sculpture so frightening that only the devil himself could look upon it. It goes further to claim that a message written by the dying Curtis swore revenge upon the town if they ever celebrated another Halloween. When a local boy saw the statue, he was rendered blind for three days, so no one else dared to look upon it. They covered it up and placed it in the crypt where Curtis Danko was laid to rest.

So poor Danny Walker ends up moving to town with his father, who grew up there, so his father could fulfill his dream of reopening the chocolate factory. His grand plan involves bringing in German investors and putting on a huge Halloween festival. In a town that is too terrified to celebrate Halloween, that poses a problem, and a handy conflict point. Danny gets picked on at school, naturally, and hears the frightening tales of Curtis Danko. Only his crazy grandfather, who insists on being called Uncle Fred, provides him some much needed protection and companionship.

Uncle Fred is a big fan of Halloween, as well, so he quickly becomes the focus of the town's rage, along with his well meaning son. Odd things begin to happen in the town, and Uncle Fred meets a sad fate. As only a family-style movie can do, this tragedy turns into a lot of slapstick comedy, and Christopher Lloyd shines.

This isn't anything that original, but it's a story told with such a joire de vie that it doesn't matter. We have a bunch of precocious kids with half-heartedly stern parents, allowing them run of the town to try to bring Halloween back for themselves. There's a very tame romance between a single mother and a single father, just enough to keep the parents watching alongside their kids. But mostly there's a lot of slapstick, a lot of cheese, and a lot of giggle factor, especially as the ghouls and zombies start walking around town doing their thing. Our creepy monsters are done up about as well as typical Halloween decorations, which just made me laugh all the harder. Glowing LED eyes, foam skeletons propped up and jiggled around on sticks, lots of smoke and fog... You've seen it all at that one house every neighborhood has that goes all out for Halloween.

In the end everything works out the way it should in a perfect world, where the good guys get their just rewards, and the not-so-good guys get their comeuppance in a nice, tame way. In real life there would have been arrests and jail time, but we'll just overlook that for the sake of a nice, tame, escape from reality.

If precocious kids just give you a headache, steer a wide path around When Good Ghouls Go Bad. However, if you're a Christopher Lloyd fan like I am, give this a viewing and enjoy him obviously enjoying himself. There are also a ton of secondary characters that provide plenty of distraction. Obviously this is a movie you can also sit and watch with your own little ones, if you have them, but if you don't, there's no shame in giggling your way through an afternoon watching something a little sweet, barely scary, and so very, very cheesy.

]]>http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/rss-comments-entry-7515534.xmlAlive In JoburgChristopher JohnsonDistrict 9In A Theater Near YouPeter JacksonSharlto CopleyWikus Van De Merweaction flickaliensso close to greatness it's frustratingThe Queen HerselfMon, 17 Aug 2009 11:00:31 +0000http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/2009/8/17/district-9-nobody-threw-a-pie.html576450:6665440:7515533 Cheesiness & giggle factor are not welcome here.

I pay to see a movie on the big screen with the expectation I will be entertained, amused, and pandered to. I got what I wanted last weekend when I thoroughly enjoyed the hunk of cheddar that is G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra. However, I do not enjoy shelling out hard earned cash for the privilege of having the message hammered constantly into me that as a human being I am selfish, cruel and capable of horrible atrocities against those under my power. I don't need reminders like that when I have 24 hour news at my disposal. I go to a movie so I can escape reality.

Don't misunderstand me. District 9 is a very well written, acted, produced, directed, CGI--ed, you-name-the-award-this-will-win-it movie. However, it is missing a key element in drama that Shakespeare understood so well: there must be a chance for the audience to take a breath so your story can be absorbed. That is done by well-timed, apropos additions of humor. Shakespeare understood pacing of this sort in his dramas. Why do so many current writers leave this out? It can be a tongue-in-cheek line. It can be a subtle visual gag. It can even be a split second of slapstick. Whatever fits. But you need it, or else you have a war-weary crowd that is just hanging in until the bitter end, and one that missed a lot of key messages you wanted to deliver in the last three quarters of your film because they were exhausted.

There is so much about this movie that is great, including the acting by the main character, Wikus Van De Merwe, played by Sharlto Copley. He produced and played a sniper in the six minute short (Alive In Joburg District 9 is based on. His role is a character study of a good man thrust into committing unconscionable acts towards his own race in hopes of saving his humanity. The "mock-umentary" style of much of the film paints a picture of a man loved by friends and family, but seen as only a commodity by his government. The aliens derisively called "prawns" are portrayed as creatures far from home, and subjugated by the "goodwill" of the humans who decided to cut into their ship and "save" them. The obvious parallels to racial issues adds to the intensity, and makes you squirm more than a little. The main alien, Christopher Johnson, and his intelligent young son were good characters to focus on. The hostility and desperation of Christopher is countered very well by the innocence of his offspring. The interaction between Christopher and Wikus is believable, and helps drag you through the relentless "this is serious, pay attention to the message" onslaught.

Despite a ton of gunfights, District 9 seemed slow to me. Even when we finally see some awesome alien technology in action, we had to wait so long for it that it's nearly anti-climactic. Because this is really just a very intense character study, it was easy to get bogged down by the details. Without any humor whatsoever to break up the pace, I had to fight to keep paying attention. Towards the end I even got bored by the gunfights. My husband felt pummeled by this movie, too, and shares his review here.

District 9 was obviously a work of love and devotion, and it is a very well-done movie. It is just not a movie for The Queen Of Cheese. I need a little humor. I need a movie that doesn't take everything so seriously. I need a movie that is willing to let me enjoy alien gadgets, gizmos, spaceships, robots, and other assorted fancy things. Basically, I need a movie willing to pander to me and my need for cheese and giggle factor. District 9, while very good for the kind of film it is, left me wishing someone would throw a pie, already.

]]>http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/rss-comments-entry-7515533.xml"Not So Original" MoviesAdewale Akinnuoye-AgbajeArnold VoslooBaronessBrendan FraserByung-hun LeeChanning TatumCheesy GoodnessChristopher EcclestonDennis QuaidDestroDukeG.I. Joe The Rise Of CobraGrégory FitoussiIn A Theater Near YouThe Queen HerselfMon, 10 Aug 2009 11:00:29 +0000http://www.queenofcheese.com/queenofcheese/2009/8/10/gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-cheesy-cheesy-cheesy-fun.html576450:6665440:7515532 Lots of action, lots of cheese, lots of fun!

If you go to see G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra expecting a plot, you're completely missing the point of a summer blockbuster like this. You're supposed to be going for a good time, to see lots of action, cool C.G.I., and some cheesy, cheesy goodness! There's sort of a plot here, but it's threadbare, just enough to hang the goodies on. For The Queen Of Cheese, that was plenty for a rip roaring good time, one making me anxious for those two sequels Dennis Quaid is already lined up for.

The cast is huge, so that is a bit distracting at first, but once things get moving you're able to stay focused on the main group. There are also a couple of cameos in pivotal roles, such as Jonathan Pryce as The President Of The United States, and Brendan Fraser as Sergeant Stone, responsible for whipping the two newest Joes into shape. Otherwise we have several character on the good and bad side to keep up with, and every single one of them was cast very well.

On the good guy side we naturally have Dennis Quaid as General Hawk, the man in charge of the Joes. He's likable and charming, as only Dennis Quaid can be. Already on his team is Breaker, played by Saïd Taghmaoui, Heavy Duty, played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, the awesome Snake Eyes, played by Ray Park, and the surprisingly not-irritating Scarlett, played by Rachel Nichols. Freshly recruited are Duke, played by Channing Tatum (who I still giggle over being in Step Up), and Ripcord, played by Marlon Wayans. This whole bunch have good chemistry together, making them a lot of fun to watch. All of the players keep their roles subdued, since an over the top performance would have just been lost in all of the over the top action and C.G.I. I was happy that the story skipped over a whole bunch of "you're the new guy and don't deserve to be here" crap they could have done. They hinted at it briefly, but quickly glossed it over to make them a team.

On the bad guy side we have a bunch of actors who get to have a lot of fun being bad. Christopher Eccleston (Dr. Who) plays James McCullen (and future Destro). Lee Byung-hun plays Snake Eyes' rival, Storm Shadow, with lots of spectacular fighting as a result. Sweet little Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the evil Cobra Commander, and does it so well I didn't recognize him. There's a small part played by the wondrous Arnold Vosloo as Zartan, a master of disguise. They weave his part in well, and leave it hanging wonderfully for the sequels. And because it wouldn't be G.I. Joe without The Baroness, we have Sienna Miller playing it to the hilt. There's an awesome fight scene between The Baroness and Scarlett which goes above and beyond the typical "we have to have a girl fight" scene.

Okay, there's a plot in here somewhere, but I didn't really care, since I was so distracted by the wonderful explosions and tons of great action. It centers around nanotechnology and missiles built to exploit them. Naturally they're dangerous weapons and end up falling into the wrong hands, and then the good guys have to chase them. There's an underwater military base, some sweet gadgets and vehicles, and lots of firepower. What more do you need, really?

Despite a lot of folks giving G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra negative reviews, it still opened number one at the box office this weekend, and I think has secured the production of those two sequels. The action is intense, but I think even younger viewers won't be overwhelmed by it, and will just be delighted at all of the eye candy in front of them.

I will be snapping this up on DVD the week it's released, I enjoyed it that much, and will be in line opening weekend when the sequels do come out. I highly recommend giving this a viewing while it is on the big screen, and checking any high expectations for complex plots at the door. Go in expecting what I did, which is a cheesy good time with lots of giggle factor, and you will be very, very entertained!

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