With a title like that, you know it's gonna be cheesy!

Once in a while I just feel like a very tame movie with lots of cheesiness, even at the risk of some awfully saccharin moments. When the movie features Christopher Lloyd, to boot, I can’t resist, and willingly plop myself on the futon to waste a couple of hours on a family-style scary film.

When Good Ghouls Go Bad is based on the R.L. Stine book of the same name, which, like all of his other works, I never got around to reading when I was in the proper age demographic. It’s set in Walker Falls, Minnesota, a town which hasn’t celebrated Halloween for twenty years after the tragic death of Curtis Danko, the local outcast. The story goes that Curtis created a sculpture so frightening that only the devil himself could look upon it. It goes further to claim that a message written by the dying Curtis swore revenge upon the town if they ever celebrated another Halloween. When a local boy saw the statue, he was rendered blind for three days, so no one else dared to look upon it. They covered it up and placed it in the crypt where Curtis Danko was laid to rest.

So poor Danny Walker ends up moving to town with his father, who grew up there, so his father could fulfill his dream of reopening the chocolate factory. His grand plan involves bringing in German investors and putting on a huge Halloween festival. In a town that is too terrified to celebrate Halloween, that poses a problem, and a handy conflict point. Danny gets picked on at school, naturally, and hears the frightening tales of Curtis Danko. Only his crazy grandfather, who insists on being called Uncle Fred, provides him some much needed protection and companionship.

Uncle Fred is a big fan of Halloween, as well, so he quickly becomes the focus of the town’s rage, along with his well meaning son. Odd things begin to happen in the town, and Uncle Fred meets a sad fate. As only a family-style movie can do, this tragedy turns into a lot of slapstick comedy, and Christopher Lloyd shines.

This isn’t anything that original, but it’s a story told with such a joire de vie that it doesn’t matter. We have a bunch of precocious kids with half-heartedly stern parents, allowing them run of the town to try to bring Halloween back for themselves. There’s a very tame romance between a single mother and a single father, just enough to keep the parents watching alongside their kids. But mostly there’s a lot of slapstick, a lot of cheese, and a lot of giggle factor, especially as the ghouls and zombies start walking around town doing their thing. Our creepy monsters are done up about as well as typical Halloween decorations, which just made me laugh all the harder. Glowing LED eyes, foam skeletons propped up and jiggled around on sticks, lots of smoke and fog… You’ve seen it all at that one house every neighborhood has that goes all out for Halloween.

In the end everything works out the way it should in a perfect world, where the good guys get their just rewards, and the not-so-good guys get their comeuppance in a nice, tame way. In real life there would have been arrests and jail time, but we’ll just overlook that for the sake of a nice, tame, escape from reality.

If precocious kids just give you a headache, steer a wide path around When Good Ghouls Go Bad. However, if you’re a Christopher Lloyd fan like I am, give this a viewing and enjoy him obviously enjoying himself. There are also a ton of secondary characters that provide plenty of distraction. Obviously this is a movie you can also sit and watch with your own little ones, if you have them, but if you don’t, there’s no shame in giggling your way through an afternoon watching something a little sweet, barely scary, and so very, very cheesy.

Tags: Brendan McCarthy, Brittany Byrnes, Christopher Lloyd, Curtis Danko, Fox Family, Halloween, made for tv movie, R.L. Stine, Roy Billing, Tom Amandes, Walker Falls

When you don't have time to watch ALL the movies it rips off!

Well, Knights Of Bloodsteel was a heck of a lot better than the last mini series I watched (Merlin’s Apprentice). It’s not that original, but at least all the parts it steals from classic tales we’ve all seen a million times are recombined into something that feels different. We have elves, goblins, humans, and an evil malformed being intent on retrieving a precious crucible which is the source of all power in the land. We have four mismatched ‘ordinary folk’ pulled together and knighted to quest for this crucible, since it must not fall into the hands of the evil Dragon Eye.

We have an elven granddaughter following in the wise footsteps of her great wizard grandfather, training to become a mighty sorcerer for Mirabalis. Supposedly she’s also a bounty hunter, but we never see her collect an actual bounty. We have a human on a personal quest for revenge, killing off all the evil members of The Brood who slaughtered his family. He calls himself an assassin, and has a very interesting ‘come and go’ (mostly ‘go’) Irish accent. We have a human conman who sells devices that would be Viagra today. And we have a goblin who turns out to be cursed and empowered with the ability to be a vessel to the souls of the recently departed, gaining their powers and knowledge at the cost of his own will.

The story itself is just backdrop, an excuse to watch sword fights, people with elf ears, and CGIed dragons. There are lot of holes that just never get filled in by the end of it, such as Dragon Eye’s obsession to revive his very human son, who was cursed to slumber forever while his father wasted away to nothingness. At the end, we don’t get to see what happens to this child, or at least, I didn’t notice because all the other ends were lofting about in the wind, obviously seeking the grounding force of a potential sequel, but just being distracting and mildly disappointing after so much invested time.

There’s definitely nothing wrong with the cast. We get Christopher Lloyd playing the wise elven sorcerer Tesselink. He pulls off the long hair better than you’d think, and only now am I thinking of the obvious comparison of his character to Gandalf when he wore that whole white ensemble. We don’t get enough of Mr. Lloyd, but while he’s there things are definitely on solid footing. David James Elliott plays John Serragoth, the human assassin, and while his accent is laughable, he’s a charming presence otherwise. Natassia Malthe plays the elven sorcerer Perfidia, and while her character isn’t consistent throughout, I don’t really care because she kicks just as much butt as she always does, and manages to keep her slight English accent from succumbing to a vanishing spell. Mark Gibbon plays the evil Dragon Eye, wearing tons of makeup that probably sent him to his chiropractor after each day’s filming. If that’s his voice coming out of that makeup too, damn! It’s definitely a fitting tone for such an ugly, scary guy. The rest of the characters are all very well played, even though some are there just as ballast.

The special effects are very cool in this movie. The whole story hinges on a metal called Blood Steel which is supposed to fuel magic and machine alike. There are some nifty compasses, viewing devices, spy devices, and assassination gadgets, including an assassin’s claw that can control the poor human it’s installed on. The CGI on the dragons we get a few glimpses of are worth the wait, and remind you that you’re watching a fantasy film.

Sadly, there’s a lot missing from Knights Of Bloodsteel that would make me excited to hear of a sequel, or a television series. Hopefully when they put out a DVD version it will be some ridiculously extended version that adds another two or three hours so all the gaps can be filled in, and the story fleshed out properly. This is another movie that is so close to greatness that it’s frustrating. I’m going to go have another glass of wine to take away the sting of ‘what should have been’.

Tags: Christopher Lloyd, David James Elliott, dragons, Dragons Of Blackroc, fantasy movie, John Serragoth, Knights Of Bloodsteel, Mark Gibbon, Mirabalis, Natassia Malthe, Perfidia, so close to greatness it's frustrating, Tesselink